BDSM: Have Rough Sex, Safely
If you’re looking to spice things up in the bedroom, you may have been toying (see what we did there?) with the idea of exploring BDSM.
It can be a bit of a scary kink to get into, but it’s important to understand you can start things as slow (or as fast) as you’re comfortable with. You can start with candles, whips, and cuffs right away, or just begin incorporating some light choking or a blindfold during sex.
In order to have rough sex as safely as possible, we have some things to keep in mind. However, let’s create a little anticipation, shall we?
What Is BDSM
The four aspects of BDSM are:
Bondage
Restricting movement through the use of handcuffs, ropes, or any other restraints.
Discipline & Dominance
Creating rules to obey or enforce through punishments like whipping or orgasm denial.
Submission
Accepting the will, actions, wishes, or authority of the dominant partner.
Masochism
Deriving pleasure from the feeling of pain. Could also include Sadism, deriving pleasure from inflicting pain.
Where Do I Start?
Your first steps into BDSM should start where every other healthy sexual adventure does: communication.
Before exploring this sexual kink together (or any kink for that matter), you and your partner(s) should both be 100% on board and have a thorough discussion about limits. BDSM should always be consensual, and all parties should be aware of the inherent risks. That being said, while you may be temporarily hurt, it should never lead to long-term harm.
The tricky thing about BDSM is that pushing boundaries is intrinsically linked to the activity. However, there is an easy way to solve this problem thanks to our first and most important tip.
Safe Words Are Essential
Being the dominant in BDSM is all about walking the submissive right up to the line without crossing it. Safe words will help you push each other to new sexual highs, while staying safe in the knowledge that it can stop anytime.
There are many ways to incorporate them, such as using a single word or gesture to indicate you need to stop. Many couples also use a series of words to indicate levels of comfort like green for “keep going”, yellow for “I’m okay but be careful”, and red for “stop”.
Safe words are the highest priority. Obeying safe words is the only way to maintain trust in a BDSM relationship and the submissive should never accept a breach of this trust.
We’ll repeat it again because it’s just that important: If you are planning on being the dominant, Always obey safe words. Period. End of story.
Other Tips
Here are some other general tips to keep in mind when exploring your new BDSM kink:
- Drugs and alcohol should always be avoided
- Never leave a bound person by themselves
- Have a way to quickly remove bindings
- Do even more research on specific BDSM activities like choking or candle play
- Always incorporate aftercare, mental and physical
If you’re trying BDSM for the first time, you’re going to need some fun sex toys to get things going! DreamPeach is here to help you explore all of your sexual fantasies.
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